

House: No, just that I can’t think of anything that I’d be interested in. House: Really? Well, that’s odd, because I had no intention of being in your office 20 minutes ago.Ĭuddy: You think we have nothing to talk about? Let’s find out what kind of zebra we’re dealing with here.Ĭuddy: I was expecting you in my office 20 minutes ago. And get her scheduled for that contrast MRI ASAP. I assume it’s a corollary if people lie, that people screw up. House: No, blood thiamine level was normal.įoreman: Lab in Trenton could have screwed up the blood test. Differential diagnosis, people: if it’s not a tumor what are the suspects? Why couldn’t she talk?Ĭhase: Aneurysm, stroke, or some other ischemic syndrome.

Second of all, if this is a horse then the kindly family doctor in Trenton makes the obvious diagnosis and it never gets near this office. First of all, there’s nothing on the CAT scan. House: Are you in first year of medical school? No. I don’t think it’s a tumor.įoreman: First year of medical school if you hear hoof beats you think “horses” not “zebras”. House: If we don’t talk to them they can’t lie to us, and we can’t lie to them. House: No, treating illnesses is why we became doctors, treating patients is what makes most doctors miserable.įoreman: So you’re trying to eliminate the humanity from the practice of medicine. House doesn’t like dealing with patients.įoreman: Isn’t treating patients why we became doctors? I was hoping for something a bit more creative.įoreman: Shouldn’t we be speaking to the patient before we start diagnosing?Ĭameron: Dr. House: And the big green thing in the middle of the bigger blue thing on a map is an island. Wilson: Come on! Why leave all the fun for the coroner? What’s the point of putting together a team if you’re not going to use them? You’ve got three overqualified doctors working for you. House: None of which is even close to dispositive. Wilson: And she’s not responding to radiation treatment. House: I thought your uncle died of cancer. House: That’s an HMO lab you might as well have sent it to a high school kid with a chemistry set. Wilson: Protein markers for the three most prevalent brain cancers came up negative. Brain tumors at her age are highly unlikely. Wilson: Hah, yes, just a simple country doctor. House: You’re the oncologist I’m just a lowly infectious disease guy. You don’t need to actually know anything to figure out what’s wrong.

Wilson: No wonder you’re such a renowned diagnostician. House: And your cousin doesn’t like the diagnosis. House: The one who can’t talk, I liked that part. Wilson: You see where the administration might have a problem with that attitude. House: I don’t want them to think I’m a doctor. Wilson: So put on a white coat like the rest of us. House: See that? They all assume I’m a patient because of this cane. Wilson: 29 year old female, first seizure one month ago, lost the ability to speak. Rebecca: Absolutely! You should never keep anything from your parents.

Girl 2: Did you tell you mom and dad about your new friend? It’s so much fun to make new friends, isn’t it? Rebecca: Ok, I had a really great weekend, but you can’t tell Miss Melanie, ok? Sidney: How come we always have to tell you what we did, and you never tell us what you did? Rebecca: Ok, Sidney, why don’t you tell us what you did this weekend. Melanie: Please tell me you know that for a fact. Melanie: There’s something either very wrong with you, or there’s something very wrong with him. You spent the night, the alarm didn’t work. Melanie: I don’t doubt it, no bus stops near Brad’s. Rebecca: You’re not going to like the answer. This transcript is unofficial, and should UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES be copied or distributed, especially for commercial use. DISCLAIMER: We don't own "HOUSE." It's owned by FOX and NBC/Universal, and produced by Heel and Toe Films and Bad Hat Harry Productions.
